Tuesday, September 14, 2010

The first time I wrote my name!

   The first time I wrote my name, I glared into that charcoal color crayon looking at my name written in the sloppiest way ever. Although today I no the mess that writing really was, but back then I looked at it as a masterpiece. I remember the whole thing, as I stared at the "beautifully" written name as if it belonged in an art museum. I felt like an all new discovered Picasso. I didn't think anything in the world looked better. So that day as I walked around the house to flaunt about my beautifully written name. Then I happen to pass my sister. Her being older than me, she always wants to find a way to bring me down. So then she said to me,
  " what are you so smiley about", in a rough grumpy tone of hate. Of course it being my name i wrote, i take it, shove it in her face showing her replying,
   "look it, I wrote my name, it's so pretty. Don't you think?" Tell this day I regret asking her that because in the most rude way she marches to our room pulls out some paper and starts writing. I just follow behind her wondering what in the world  she could be doing. Then when she's finally done, just as I have done, she shoves a piece of paper in my face with non-other than her name written on it. I stared at hers sadly, then back at mine. This repeated a good five times. Finally I throw my paper on the floor in crumbled bits and know I have been beat in the war of writing. What I thought was awesome at first, I was ashamed to be holding in my hands saying I wrote after that. Ccompared to mine it was phenomenal. After that incident I watched my mom, dad, sister, and anyone i could write to try and copy and improve mine, but it didn't work. I couldn't write the pretty swooped letters like my mom, nor the bold faced capitals like my dad. so eventually my mom noticed me doing this and told me,
        "the only writing good enough for you is your own, and it's the very best because it's yours." From then on I wrote how I did and tried to do it like no one else, and was proud of it!!

7 comments:

  1. This is beautiful! I love the descriptions of the way your parents's writing looked. So vivid. Please go back in and edit your capital I and the beginning of sentences. "When you use quotes they should look like this." "If you are saying who spoke, they should look like this," Mrs. Benson said. Notice where the comma and period are. They are inside the quotes. Make sure you save this one, it would be a wonderful section to your Literary History paper that we will be writing soon.

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  2. Thany you Mrs.Benson and i will go back and edit my quotes and I's

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  3. the best piece by far what ever your sister says now this is art.nice job two thumbs up. the story was so clear and vivid i could see you doing that. its like i'm there seeing you shove it every where. its like how you treated those cool bracelets.

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  4. Wow. thanks so much George, I love your feed back!

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  5. He is right. Remind me to copy the spilled milk piece for you, so you can see exactly what you did that is so good. Your slow down, detailed moment is wonderful.

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  6. Thank you Mrs.Benson, and what about spilled milk?

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  7. Did you read the milk piece I gave you? Let me know if it helps you at all. I would like feedback on it, so I don't keep using it if it is not helpful. Let me know if I need to reread this piece for revisions.

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